Today, for my morning commute, I decided to wear my bag (Crumpler’s Dreadful Embarassment) on my left shoulder instead of my right. I would continue to do so until I was ambishoulderous.

I’ve been wearing my man-purse on my right shoulder for a few years now, and I’ve come to the conclusion that it may have something to do with the mild upper back discomfort I occasionally experience. In the name of science (or something like it) I slung my bag, half-full of laptop, ridiculously large Neal Stephenson hardcover, water bottle and miscellany over my left shoulder and was startled by how awkward it made me feel. Everything was just a little… off.

My ability to move without having to think about it was completely gone. I felt as though someone may had slipped something into my mini-wheats. I could function normally, but I had to try much harder than usual. My wallet, normally back pocket, right, wedged my newly relocated bag a little farther away from my back than I found comfortable. So I switched pockets and was thereby treated to two separate incidents of a reflexive “oh crap, where’s my wallet?”. My headphones (earbuds) were stuck under the strap of the bag and repeatedly yanked out of my ears as I struggled with my backwards/sideways commute. My phone, happily nestled in the  front, far-right inside pocket of my bag might as well have been at home. I tried to reach for it at one point and nearly fell over.

Hyperbole? Sure. But what else does one think about on the way to work? This was case of ‘for want of a shoe, a horse was lost’, but fortunately my kingdom, such as it is, still stands. I’ve not been deposed by a coup d’etat staged by an obstreperous messenger bag. I just thought it interesting how one insignificant change to routine can so easily complicate other (also insignificant) matters.

I am slowly working on a post about affairs of the heart, but am finding it challenging to write while not sounding like either a sad sack or a robot. I’ll take a crack at it soon, and reveal my pathetic robot heart for all (two of you) to see!